An aerial view of Madrid Source: Pixabay |
The girl who Roman bumped into in the street was none other than Sophia, the King's second daughter. She liked to wander the city without drawing too much attention to herself, dressing in clothes that wouldn't give away her status. Right after that encounter, she rushed back to her hotel before anyone could suspect that she'd been gone to long. Once there, she was not in her right state of mind. The ladies in charge of handling her could not for the life of them figure out why she was in such a downright awful mood. Nothing seemed to please her, and every attempt to do so failed miserably. Letizia, her governess and close friend since she was small, asked her what was wrong, and she was met with incoherent answers. It wasn't until they were alone that Sophia sighed and spoke with such tenderness of the perfect stranger she had just met while out on her stroll. "It's as if he stole a part of me, nana, what can I ever do? It's as if in that split second he stole my heart and with that my ease. He bewitched me with those smoldering eyes and I will never be able to take this dagger out of my heart. He is probably gone for good and I don't even know his name...."
With this she began to weep, and Letizia knew not what to do but exit quietly from Sophia's room and excuse her from the festivities with her parents.
All throughout the day Roman was not all there, his mind lingering on that beautiful girl he encountered on that busy cobblestone street. Lance did nothing but question his lack of interaction. Surely, his brother would be more enthused being in such a grand city, and at such a festive time none the less! But he walked the streets in an absentminded manner, almost as if in a serene trance. Not sure what to do, Lance just shook his head and carried on with their trek to their final destination. Once at the venue where the run would begin, he saw the royal family assembled in a balcony dressed in their finest garments. Surely such fine clothing could only belong to royalty. The jewels in their crowns and tiaras glinting in the Spanish sunlight caused a beautiful array of tiny reflective sports to dance on the walls surrounding them with the tiniest movement.
King Felipe was eager to find a young man who was worthy of the hand of his second daughter Sophia. Royal bloodlines didn't matter to this king. All that mattered was the man that he was and his moral fiber.He will admit that he was a jealous father and nothing was ever good enough for his youngest. He'd had many a prince come from all over Europe asking for her hand and he found none with that spark to hand her over to. He had passed over many proposals that would secure strong alliances with Spain, yet none ever showed the true capacity to become a husband to his daughter. Many thought that with the king being as picky as he was, Spain would not see another royal wedding for quite a long time.
Running of the Bulls Wikimedia |
As the event began and Roman saw the bulls race down the cobblestone streets, his heart stopped --he saw a young girl race out in front of the oncoming stampede, small enough to sneak past the barriers to retrieve her rogue puppy. With no thinking on his behalf, and to the horror of the crowd, Roman thrust himself over the barrier and snatched up the little girl, outrunning the oncoming stampede and right into an open alleyway. Finally they were both safe. His heart was beating so fast it was likely to burst out of his chest. He waited for the stampede to pass to return the crying child to the safety of her parents' embrace. Lance stood waiting for him and greeted him with an exasperated look on his face, the anxiety apparent on his chiseled features. The crowd on the other hand, welcomed him with cheers and applause. There were many hands patting him on the back as we walked towards his brother.
After this, a man came to fetch Roman, and with Lance accompanying him he was presented to King Felipe in a private room. And with a smile, he asked Roman about himself, from his origin to what he was doing in Madrid. After a few minutes, he sent for his youngest daughter.
"Roman, there's someone I'd like you to meet...."
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Authors Note:
I don't even know I managed to get the jumble of ideas I had in my head into a coherent succession of sentences to be honest. I really loved the tale of how Rama met his wife Sita and the romance behind it. The 'love at first sight' aspect, I mean. I know I left it at a cliffhanger, but if we know the original tale, then we know how it all ends, right? I hope so. Well, I tried to give it a very modern twist. I guess that's the beauty of writing; everything is a figment of your imagination when it comes to storytelling. Anything is possible!
I thought it would be cool to incorporate the Pamplona bull run since I set this version of the story in Spain, considering it's a big event and important to the culture. It involves a great amount of festivities, similar to the scene in which Rama first entered Mithila, with its bright colors and the streets alive with the hustle and bustle of cheerful inhabitants. Overall, I chose this story because for this week's reading, this particular portion stood out to me, and as I mentioned before, it's a true romantic tale, even similar to something along the lines of Romeo and Juliet. It's not the same, but a great love story all the same.
I thought it would be cool to incorporate the Pamplona bull run since I set this version of the story in Spain, considering it's a big event and important to the culture. It involves a great amount of festivities, similar to the scene in which Rama first entered Mithila, with its bright colors and the streets alive with the hustle and bustle of cheerful inhabitants. Overall, I chose this story because for this week's reading, this particular portion stood out to me, and as I mentioned before, it's a true romantic tale, even similar to something along the lines of Romeo and Juliet. It's not the same, but a great love story all the same.
"The Wedding" by R.K. Narayan, from The Ramayana: A Shortened Modern Prose Version of the Indian Epic (2006). eBook.
This story was really fun to read! It was interesting because I had not even read the original version! I chose to do the Public Domain Ramayana whereas you chose to pick a story from Narayan's Ramayana. I also felt the same way with my story as you did given your author's note! I felt like it was a jumble of ideas and somehow they made it onto my blog page. :)
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved this story. Putting the story in Spain during the running of the bulls was such a creative and interesting choice and it really fit the story. I like how you were able to incorporate all of the plot into a more modern setting, without sacrificing the story. You just stretched in such a way that it fit perfectly! I also really like this story, and chose it for similar reasons.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the setting that you chose for your reinterpretation of Rama and Sita’s courtship and wedding story. I think if you used Spain as a place in a future story, you could really just go wild with the descriptions of everything there from the old castles, to the beaches to the colorful houses that dot the city. What I really thought was fun was that you included real life royalty into the story by using King Felipe. You also painted a very vivid picture with the action going on at the festival. I enjoyed the dialogue that was in the story and would love to read more of how the characters talk to each other because conversations in a story can really convey so many emotions and motives. Also, having the running of the bulls as an event was a great way to show off Roman’s courage and create a conflict in the story, along with having it be a vehicle for the meeting of Roman and Princess Sophia.
ReplyDeleteWhat an awesome story! This story of Rama and Sita meeting was one of the more interesting stories for me too. It definitely has a fairytale aspect to it. I think you did a really good job of putting a modern twist on the story. Setting the story in the study abroad experience of someone was very clever. This is something that all of us students can relate to. Even if we might not experience quite the same thing, everyone experiences something or meets someone during their time abroad that they will never forget.
ReplyDeleteI think you had a great vocabulary used throughout the story; very diverse. You had good spacing and paragraph placement too, with some longer and some shorter. I also like how you ended with that simple, yet powerful quote. The only suggestions I have are very minor. In the second sentence of the second paragraph you have “color full” instead of “colorful”. Great job!
This story was beautifully written! I love how you set the plot in Barcelona! I thought it was clever that you used the bull run as the challenge. I really liked how the king was interested in true character instead of royalty or riches. Having Roman save the girl in the bull run was the perfect example to show that Roman has selfless qualities. What father wouldn't want that for his daughter? Cliff hangers are bitter sweet, but you did a great job for an ending. I love the idea of cliff hangers because it allows the reader to question the ending. I don't really have any helpful suggestions for you! Now that I read back through your story, it would be nice if Roman's brother was more involved in the plot. He was introduced, but never played a major part. The fact that Roman and him were inseparable made me believe that I would read a little more about Lance. Other than that I really enjoyed your storytelling!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the idea of love at first sight that you tried to convey. Additionally, I felt like Sophia's tendency to wander the street was a very interesting way to get the two to meet. However, your characters and setting seemed a little flat. Try to add a little more dialogue or include more description of the surroundings. And don't be afraid to add more links in your story or in the author's note. Your photos are alright, but they don't contribute much to the story. If you need another place to search for photos, I find that Flickr is a good source for dramatic photos. Also, the links underneath the pictures are almost white so they are very difficult to see. Try changing the color of your link text. Finally, I think that the color of your blog is a little overpowering. The red patterned background is fine, but try changing the solid red portion of the background to another color to make it less overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteHi Pita! You have a really thought out twist to how Rama and Sita met. I love the how you changed the setting of the story to Spain. It seems that you are very familiar with the Spanish culture. The way Sophia and Roman met reminded me of the movie Aladdin where Jasmine is wandering the streets and bumps into Aladdin. I think the pictures you chose for your story are good. The picture of Madrid really captures the beauty of Spain, and the picture of the Bull Run gave me a good visual of the chaos. I liked how you incorporated the details of how Sophia and Roman were acting after their encounter. Love at first sight is a big idea in all of the epics we have read. I have a couple of suggestions. In the first sentence the word “mood” is used twice. Maybe you could come up with another word to use. Another suggestion is giving Lance a slightly bigger role in the story like Lakshmana had in the Ramayana.
ReplyDeleteYour story was amazing, and I am sort of jealous of how you got your jumble of ideas to all make sense. I sometimes have a hard time getting my ideas to make sense on paper. Since you made the setting in Spain the first thing that popped to my mind was the Cheetah Girls 2. In the second movie they spent majority of their time in Barcelona, Spain. The one part that came to mind while reading your story was when Galleria met that handsome Spanish boy on the street. It was kind of a quick introduction, but they never got to see each other that much except for the random times that he would pop up throughout the movie. And also Galleria was too busy make songs for the Cheetah Girls to even go and have fun with him. But I loved how you included a little bit of Spanish culture to your story to give it a little flavor. But I can't wait to see what else you put up. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteThis is an absolutely adorable story. I really enjoyed it. You took some much time developing your story and your characters, it really payed off. Great job. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your story, it had a good flow to it. The paragraphs were very lengthy, but that's a fine writing style. I had a hard time reading the white font with the background you have chosen. Given, black font wouldn't be any better, but I would work on this if you could. Maybe just make the font thicker so it is easier to read. Or you could change the background, I'm not exactly sure, but the story was hard to read. I enjoyed that you included two pictures. I have studied Spanish for many years now and the setting of your story really hit home with me. I was just very impressed by this story and really enjoyed it. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis was absolutely beautifully written all around! Your modernization of both the plot elements and characters is one of the most sophisticated that I have had the chance to read this semester, and I have so much to learn from you! I will definitely be keeping up with your portfolio in the future. :)
ReplyDeleteYour use of imagery and descriptive language is superb and never over done. I really enjoyed how you drew from both famous stories and your own schemas on love at first sight and travel to compose this creative plot. In addition to Rama and Sita's love story, I also thought this was reminiscent of Disney's Jasmine and Aladdin with the princess' tendency to go outside in "normal" clothing. Her laments to her governess reminded me a bit of Gone with the Wind and Scarlett O'Hara's talks with Mamy about Ashley Wilkes! And of course, I thought that your location choice was absolutely perfect. Have you travelled to Spain or studied there previously?
My only helpful hint for the future would be to consider changing your font to something larger and more clear. It could be my eye sight (silly middle of the night computer using habits..), but I found myself squinting at times to decipher sentences.
What a wonderful story! Have a great week! :)
I really enjoyed your story. I think that the love between the main characters was definitely shown in your writing. I could really sense the love at first sight details such as the rambling of Sophia or the absentmindedness of Roman. It definitely showed how much they loved each other and how confused it made both of them. I also like how the king was so picky on who he wanted to marry his daughter. He chose Roman not because he was the strongest or smartest but because he risked his life to save the child that ran into the running bulls. I think that made the story so good. I also like that you left it on a cliff hanger. Since I read the story, I obviously know what happens next but I thought it added to the story and was very good. Overall, I really enjoyed your version.
ReplyDeletePita, I wasn’t sure exactly which story you were telling until the moment when Roman and Sophia locked eyes… I’d recognize that scene from anywhere! The general idea of this story is very creative. Adventures on a study abroad trips are something a lot of college students find themselves day-dreaming about, so I think a lot of our classmates will be able to relate to your writing. I also like how instead of completing a task of physical strength, Roman exemplified bravery and compassion. I think these kinds of characteristics are much more important! I also like how you combined the culture of Spain and the running of the bulls with a traditionally Indian story we read in class. The structure of this piece is also very nice- I like the distinct separation of the Author’s note. Finally, my favorite part of your story is the ending. You left the next scene up to the reader’s imagination which is a really cool idea!
ReplyDeleteHi Brynn! I really enjoyed reading your first story. I though that choosing Spain as your setting was very clever and fit into the story very well. I also really like how the couple met. i am a fan of love at first sight so I really enjoyed reading your story. I also like how your writing gave a lot of description and imagery. I was able to follow along with the story while also having a picture of what is going on in my mind. I wasn't a huge fan of the font color but I was able to read it without trouble. I also like the picture you included. It is very beautiful. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Pita, I really enjoyed reading your story as usual. I am glad you are making good progresses in your portfolio. I really enjoy reading your stories because you have a different way of telling the stories in a way that readers can enjoy it very well. I think it is because when you write your stories, you also consider the readers in your mind and write it for them. In addition, it is also because of the time and effort you put in to these stories. I did not notice any spelling error or grammar errors in your story. Overall, I enjoyed reading your stories as usual. You are very creative in your stories. My favorite part is when you combined the culture of Spain and the culture of India in to one. I cannot wait to read more of your stories and see what you have to say. Good luck on your portfolio Pita.
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